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27 October 2008 @ 02:05 am
Ex-gay is a term sometimes used to refer to persons who once identified as gay or lesbian, but have since turned away from such identification for religious or other reasons. Some ex-gays enter into opposite-sex relationships, while others remain celibate. While ex-gays may report a reduction in same-sex desires, they may also continue to experience same-sex attraction even though they do not identify as "gay". - Source: Wikipedia.org.

If you decide to become ex-gay out of personal choice..I'm fine with it. All the more power to you, I hope you succeed in your goal. But...to become ex-gay to please others, to gain respect, or avoid the discrimination.... That is pathetic. The worse thing about it...those that then bash on gays and "Assist others in becoming free from homosexuality." Gah! You act like it is a fucking disease or plague. You make it sound immoral, which is probably the reason as to why you decided to distance yourself from it. This is the part that I find to be disgusting. -.-

Ex-Gay. If you choose you no longer want that lifestyle or for religious purposes, okay. But, to please others...Blah. And, if you find homosexuality to be disgusting and try to get others to become ex-gay like you, saying you have seen the light or that shit...BLAH BLAH TO YOU!
 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: Blah!
Current Music: Golden Days - Drake Bell.
 
 
27 October 2008 @ 01:32 am
What makes you asexual?


According to Wikipedia...

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction.

Sexual attraction is an attraction, usually, to other members of the same species for sexual or erotic activity.


I stare at people and think...They are soo fucking hot or ugly. That don't mean I want to fuck them. It is pictures of them with clothes. Now..take off the clothes...I'm bored or turned off. The attraction for them is by looks with clothes! There is no sexual desire or attraction to them. The idea of sex bores me.

Yet..there has been a selected few that I felt a desire to fuck. My boyfriend Kevin, he is special to me because he is the only person I dated that I wanted to do in that way. Everyone else was famous, and it was not many people. Eg. Christina Aguilera, Drake Bell, Nikki Sixx, and Aaron Stanfield. Not many people as you can see.

Not sure if I made this all confusing...to clarify: Stare at someone. Does the idea of sex with them or seeing them naked arouse you? If so, I would call that a sexual attraction. I rarely get aroused.

Dating...Personality and looks. Not exactly sexual attraction. I have only dated 1 person I was sexually attracted to.

So, does that make me Asexual or Bisexual?Poll #1285789 Ren'ai :: Sexuality. ::
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What sexuality do I follow under? (Leaving an explaination as to why would be greatly appreciated.)

View Answers

Asexual.
0 (0.0%)

Bisexual.
0 (0.0%)

Other - Please Explain.
0 (0.0%)

 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Time for Me to Fly - Jonas Brothers.
 
 
25 October 2008 @ 11:22 pm
I really liked this video. Yes...it is Jerry Springer..but, no drama really. It was really nice and sweet. She tried to be gentle when rejecting him, you could tell she didn't want to hurt him. Why was it worthy enough to be on Jerry Springer? 1. She is an escourt. 2. She was born...a man. :D
Princess Gianna on Jerry Springer




 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: YouTube.
 
 
25 October 2008 @ 06:18 pm
Okay, well I'm excited despite my horrible day caused by my parents.

Chapter 1 of my Original Story has been posted for you all to read.

So....go and read it for me. :D

Link: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2588227/1/Inspire

And...if you don't want to make an account to leave me a review..You can comment me here or visit my official site for my story. The site is shitty right now...but, it has a little chat on it for you to talk to me on.

http://www.freewebs.com/pyrosixx/index.html
 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Somehow - Drake Bell
 
 
25 October 2008 @ 12:46 am
I wish I was anywhere but here. I wish I could have the life of someone else. I wish I didn't have to deal with all of this. I wish I could disappear. I wish I was invisible sometimes.

No one affects me as much as "they" do. No one makes me hate life as much as "they" can. I want to tell them this at times..but, I can't. Imagine the outcome. If I were to tell them all this face to face...HUGE FIGHT! If I were to write this all up and send it to them in the form of an email...HUGE FIGHT! They....Gah. I can't fully come up with the words I want. My chest hurts. I would like to say my heart, but I don't know Anatomy. Where is the heart located? It hurts though. An aching pain that threatens to spread and tear me apart from the inside and out. I feel an urge to cut, yet I won't. I promised myself I won't anymore, it would upset Kris, Manna, Kevin, & Heaven, and it would bring more negative results. If my parents found out..which they would...GAH! I hate them! I hate them soooo much. And, at times when I don't and I love them.....They do something or say something that makes me hate them all over again. As Heaven told me, "No one can hurt you as much as they can. Especially Dad." She knows that he has the biggest effect on me. I remember being young and idolizing him. He was hardly there. Once he started to always be there....it began with disappointment and led to being the disappointment.

"Daddy! Play Video Games with me." Football, Shower, Work, Recording Casette Tapes..It always came before me. I can understand on shower and work. But, you need to finish recording a music tape before you can play with your daughter....He gave away a Christmas Present that I had for less than 2 weeks to a family member I met for the first time. And, I was selfish for complaining? WTF! I did all I could to make him proud and...it just never seemed to work. So, when I tried to find myself and become my own person......finally they started to pay attention to me. But, it was not what I wanted. They said that I wanted attention and did things for it. No! I was just trying to find myself. 10th grade and before...That was all trying to please them and get attention. 10th grade and after was all about me. They can't see how full of themselves they are sometimes. What they say...it is all about them. I DON'T DO SHIT FOR THEM ANYMORE! I been learned that I can't please them.

I hated my mom from 4th grade to my year in college  because she beat me with a pair of overalls. It took me up until 11th grade to finally be able to see a pair of overalls without shuddering. Funny how it was shortly after that, they went out of style and places stopped selling them.

I held it against my dad that he was not around that much for 3 years. Held it against him most of 10th and 11th grade. Got over it soon after. Still...that is not why they anger me so.

Has your dad ever called you an ugly person? It used to make me cry sooo much! Dad used to say that I was a pretty girl, but inside...I was really ugly. That would hurt. He said it the most in 12th grade. I cut the most in 12th grade.

I have never cutted because of Kevin, despite what people think. Actually, I started cutting before I met Kevin.

For the record....plus, I want to get off the subject...I have not cut myself since March or April of this year. Last time I cut was either End of March or Beginning of April. But..ya. Before that...I had not cut since November of 2006. What does that mean? I did not cut any time after breaking up with Kevin. Never. Which shows...that was not the reason I had cut myself. Yes...Kevin hurt me. But, not enough to cut myself. No, it took more pain than that to lead me to it.

I can't talk to my parents without feeling like shit. That is not a good thing. I hate them! I want to run away and join the circus or something. No one knows this....If Kevin did not ask me out again...I was going to join the service. I was planning on it. Guarantee job and money. No parents. But...Kevin entered my life again, before I started to research my options.

Dad told me just now that he can't force me to go with them on Thanksgiving to Tyson & Tori's. Good. I'm not going now. I'll stay home and have my own Thanksgiving. Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches.

I...I need a job. As of today..I have no intentions of talking to them at all. Only time I will talk to them is to get a ride to place to get a job/go to work. Once I move...I want nothing to do with them. I been saying this since 12th grade. I plan on cutting all contact with them. And...Heaven plans to do the same. And, they don't know it. It is funny in a way. They don't realize that what they do to me...it is pushing away their youngest. And, it is not because of me. No. She told me this on her own, before I ever said I planned on leaving.

Heaven and me overheard dad talking about me to Grandma in the kitchen...it hurt. Then, he said to mom a week ago... Pointing to Heaven, "I like her!" He was talking about me and then said that. Heaven was pissed. Found out today.

I am so glad I have Kevin, Kris, Manna, & Heaven. Especially Kevin & Heaven. Because....I been having suicidal thoughts and just the thought of those 2 is what automatically pushes them away. I don't dwell on the thoughts for more than a minute. Call me weak and dependant..but, whatever.
 
 
Current Location: :: Home. :: / :: Hell. ::
Current Mood: Wounded
Current Music: ..Nothing. Still thinking over that "Talk" with mom.
 
 
24 October 2008 @ 10:14 pm
For Years, I have tried.
I tried to be what you wanted me to be.
I tried and would fail.
In the end, I had to find myself all over again.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know who the hell I was.
And, it never was good enough.
I was always "The Disappointment."
There is no pleasing you.
I'm not the perfect child.
And, it hurts more than you will ever know.
I'm sick of your attempts to mold me.
I'm sick of being near you.
I just want to run away.
You think you know me.
You don't know a damn thing about me.
Did you know you were one of the reasons I used to cut?
Why I used to wish for death to come and steal me away.
No, you know nothing.


......Uh. Ya. I can't think of what else to say. Sounds crappy. Blah. I know what I'm feeling..but putting it all down in text..BLAH!
 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Circles - Drake Bell
 
 
24 October 2008 @ 09:19 pm
If no one is around to hear me....I will sing along to a sad song. It has to be a slow song that has emotion. They touch me and some can get me to shed tears.

Snow Patrol.

One of the best bands to listen to when you need to feel emotion, any emotion, even if it is sad. Their lyrics..touching. Deep. And, if you don't go by lyrics....tones of their songs are also sad. Great sound!

Haha...I'll try to leave better music reviews later. I just needed to say all that. :D
 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: touched
Current Music: Run - Snow Patrol
 
 
20 October 2008 @ 12:54 am
I was watching LOGO and found the craziest Music Video ever! Remember that weird guy from Outcast? Andre 3000. I found the girl version of him. She kinda...ya, scares me. I tried giving her a chance and listening to her sing with my eyes closed...Didn't help. Don't like her period.

I'll let you be the judge. Should I give her another chance and find other stuff by her?
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Here is the video, courtesy of Youtube:
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Janelle Monae - Many Moons
 

 
 
 
Current Location: :: Home. ::
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Janelle Monae - Many Moons
 
 
19 October 2008 @ 10:53 pm
I was checking Myspace Groups out for a good Gay-Straight Alliance group. Guess what, they don't exist. Nearly every group I came across was shit. Now, if you are looking for a good Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, or Straight Kinks or Hook up Group....There is tons of them for you. People care about hooking up too much, rather than important matters such as...I dunno..Equal Rights for the Gay Community.

Anyhow...I came across a rather interesting Post today.

Myspace Group: Houston Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered Activism
Url: http://groups.myspace.com/HoustonGLBTactivism
Info: Claims to be an activist group.....Just another Hook up Group. -.- People ignored the wishes of the group creator and he never grew the balls to delete the posts like he said he would.

The post that caught my attention...was interesting and outragious. I will allow you to look at it and think what you will of it. I however think it is complete garbage.
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The Post:
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It's unfortunate that there is such a vast ignorance about homosexuality. There is much confusion out there because people don't know what homosexuality is. They confuse it with other things. For instance, they think that homosexuality is about physical sex. It isn't. The physical sex follows from the emotional need. You can be heterosexual and have physical sex with the same gender. You can be homosexual and have physical sex with the opposite gender. You can have sex with yourself. Physical sexual desire is controlled by something else entirely.

First, let me state that there is no "gay gene." Although homosexuality is caused by genetics, there is no gene associated with it. There is a gene that directs sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is an INSTINCT that is hardwired in the brain while the fetus is being formed. This happens though a process known as "gene expression." It helps to think of the DNA as being a giant strand of computer code. During gene expression - the division and specialization of cells take place during the forming of the fetus or zygote - the DNA and the RNA work together to express the code chemically. The DNA is the set of instructions; the RNA is the factory that produces the necessary proteins for the next step of the code. The IF-THEN statements of the computer code are controlled by the protein sequence. We tend to think of genes as "static." They are anything but that. All genes are "dynamic." That is they are turned ON and OFF thousands or millions of times during zygote formation. It is the combination of the gene ON/OFF sequences taken together that form the next leg of the construction process. The proteins needed for each step amount to only one or two molecules. These molecules form the next step in the computer code expression. You see, the DNA is not the total computer code itself. It instructs the RNA to produce the protein molecules that form the next step of the code. So the construction of actual code is being manufactured (or written) each step along the way. This is what is known as "gene expression."

Now, to make it easily understandable, I am going to give you a massively simplified explanation of how this happens. I am going to write as though the DNA process is a cognitive thought process. It isn't. There is no consciousness involved. But there is intelligence that is built into the DNA and into the cell. That intelligence is expressed chemically. Your body is one ultra complex chemical factory. That's what life is - a complex series of electro-chemical processes. So, now, let me give you a simplified explanation you can easily understand. While I am doing this, I am going to make this hypothetical mother have identical twins. There is a reason for that. It will help you to understand the process.

A mother's egg is fertilized by a single sperm cell and the genetic code of the two (they each have 1/2 the code) is combined into a completely new strand of DNA. This DNA has all the instructions from the mother and all the instructions from the father, and based on a complex process of recessive and dominate genes, particular attributes are going to be selected over others so that the individual that will be born will have features of both the mother and the father. That individual will be unique from the parents. This fertilization forms a new cell from those of the mother. This cell begins to divide. Each time it divides, it forms new DNA for the nucleus of each cell. While splitting, these two cells accidentally split completely apart where they are no longer touching. So now, we have two completely separate cells that have identical DNA right down to the very last molecule. There is zero difference between them. Now, because of that, you would think there would be zero difference between the end process - the two babies. But that is not the case. These two babies will not be entirely identical. They will have many differences. Why is that? Gene expression will change their code that constructs their physical body.

At first, they are globs of undifferentiated cells. Very quickly, due to gene expression, they will begin to differentiate into all the cell types (bone, blood, tissue) that make up the human body, and they will do this in a specific sequence. Now these two fetuses are going to be boys for the sake of this demonstration. The fetus begins to form and different organs begin to appear. Also external physical features begin to differentiate (hands, fingers, head, legs, feet, etc.). Early on, each fetus will be female. All fetuses will have nipples, but those nipples will only be useful if the fetus remains a female. The DNA code decides (if-then sequence) that this fetus will become a male. It then begins a series of sequences that begin to form a male pelvis, male genitalia, male brain (there are slight difference between the male and female brain), male breasts, and other features specific to males. It sends instructions to the RNA that produces the minute amounts of proteins that form the next step of the code that determines how this fetus will be constructed. So now we have two very healthy male fetuses. Now another series of sequences is constructing the brain and forming its internal structure. The gene expression process looks at the information that says this is to be a male. The if-then process decides that it must have a male "gender identification instinct." This instinct lies dormant until 5 to 6 years of age and then turns on. At 5 to 6 years of age, the child will identify itself as either male or female. Depending on how it identifies itself, its behavior will begin to differentiate based on its self-identification. In very small numbers, certain DNA sequences are changed in the gene expression process because a protein failed to be produced by the RNA, or a single atom at the end of the molecule is missing. It will no longer match up in the gene expression sequence and as a result, the gene will be either turned on or off incorrectly. So instead of a "male gender identification instinct" the infant will have a female gender identification instinct. At six years of age, it will begin behaving as a female. This is a transgendered child. There is nothing you can do. This person will forever identify himself as a female trapped in a male body. Once the child reaches puberty, he will have psychological problems as a result of conflict between culture and self-identification. This only happens infrequently, but in a nation of 300 million people, it becomes numerous enough to become noticeable. But in our case, both these male fetuses are coded correctly and will end up with male identification instincts. (Note that instincts are behavioral instructions that are hardwired into your brain. It is almost impossible to overcome an instinct. Trying to change a behavior can psychologically damage an individual.)

But both these male fetuses have male identification instincts. The next step in the process determines again that the fetus is a male, and gives the instruction to produce a "male sexual orientation instinct." This means that the male will desire females once he reaches puberty. Actually, this instinct also is dormant until 5 to 6 years of age and turns on. Children can become aware of their sexual preference as early as six years of age. Instincts control EMOTIONS, and it is the emotional structure of the individual that is affected, not the physical sexual desire. Physical sexual desire is actually non-differentiated. It follows emotional desire. That is why you can easily have physical sex with a member of the opposite gender, or with the same gender, or with no gender (with yourself.) You can even have sex with a plastic doll. The physical sexual instinct (which is activated by sex hormones) does not care HOW one has sex. It only wants physical sexual release. Masturbation suits it just fine. Your physical sexual desire does not determine you sexual orientation.

In the case of these two male fetuses, one receives the correct protein sequence and receives a sexual orientation instinct which will cause his sexual orientation to relate emotionally to females. The other receives protein instructions that cause him to have a sexual orientation that will be directed at other males. This is emotional. Let me state this again - this is emotional. It is a fundamental part of the emotional structure of the individual - one that he CANNOT CHANGE. Physically, he can try not to have sex with other males, but sex with females will NEVER satisfy him emotionally. It will be similar to masturbation. It will give him physical sexual release, but it will never give the emotional satisfaction that his brain needs to relate properly to the world. He will become unhappy and miserable if he never has a sexual emotional relationship with another male.

Now these two identical twins are born and later the brothers become featured naked in Playgirl Magazine. Standing side by side, you discover that these two identical twins (although they look remarkably alike) are not exactly "identical." They began life with IDENTICAL DNA, but the gene expression produced uniquely different individuals. Now you look closely at the two standing side-by-side naked and you notice that one has a slightly broader face than the other even though they weigh the same. One of the twin brothers is one inch to one-and-one-half inches taller than the other. And then you gasp!! One has a penis that is almost twice the size of the other brother's. How can this be? Gene expression. Their internal organs can also be different. But - one of the twin brothers is heterosexual and the other is homosexual. They began with absolutely identical genetic code right down to the last molecule. They shared the very same womb. The mother gave both the same hormones, the same nourishment, the same formation conditions. They have the same parents, live in the same house, experience the same parental behaviors, have the same friends, and are always together. They go to the same schools, wear the same clothes, eat the same foods, get the same amount of exercise, are exposed to the same chemicals in their food and the air they breathe. Their is nothing about their environment that is/was different, and yet there are physical differences and one is straight and the other is gay. Emotionally, they relate to the opposite gender and to the same gender DIFFERENTLY.

What is sexual orientation? You can say it is attraction to a specific gender, but that is misleading. It is much more than that. It is an INSTINCT that affects how your brain relates to the world. You have no control over this. You can change your PHYSICAL BEHAVIOR, but that will not alter your psychological relationship to the world. The fact is that you can quite easily have physical sexual relations with members of the opposite gender, the same gender, and with no gender (with yourself.) These sexual relations will feel good. You will have orgasms. You will enjoy the human relationship. You can even become addicted to sex with members of the opposite gender or the same gender and want to do it frequently. However, if you disobey your sexual orientation instinct, all you will ever receive is physical pleasure and physical release. The physical sexual instinct will be satisfied and will give you physical sexual satisfaction. But there is something more important that you will NEVER receive. You will never receive EMOTIONAL SEXUAL SATISFACTION. If you obey your sexual orientation instinct, you will receive a DOUBLE ORGASM simultaneously. The first is the physical orgasm which is how your physical sexual instinct rewards you. The second is a BRAIN ORGASM which is how your sexual orientation instinct rewards you. It will not reward you unless you obey its instructions. If you have sex according to its instructions, at the moment of physical orgasm, you brain will be flooded with endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and other brain chemicals. The oxytocin will cause you to "bond" emotionally with your sex partner. The endorphins will remove all sensations of pain and give you a "floating" experience. You will feel "one with the universe." The dopamine will go to the pleasure centers of your brain and will vastly intensify the sensations of your physical orgasm and will give you and overall pleasurable feeling and feeling of well-being. This is something very important psychologically that you cannot receive unless you have sex with the gender that your sexual orientation instincts instructs you too.

Now a word about homophobia. Some people do not realize that homophobia is not normal. It is abnormal behavior that has a specific cause going back in history. Most people assume they know what homophobia is, but they are usually wrong. You should be aware that homophobia did not always exist. In human history, it is a relatively new phenomenon. It has two specific causes, and both are due to religions evolving from Judaism. What I am about to tell you is not an attack against any religion, it is an explanation about a phenomenon that came about due to specific historical events. First, what is homophobia?

Ask anyone on the street, and they are likely to tell you it is the fear of homosexuals, or the fear of homosexuality. This isn't true. Homophobia is the fear of being associated with homosexuality one's self. For many generations, a stigma was attached to homosexuality for religious reasons. Humans are herd animals. We don't like to think of ourselves that way but, in fact, we are. We have herd instincts just as all herd animals. One of the greatest fears of any herd animal is rejection by the herd. In most herd animals, rejection by the herd means death. In humans, rejection by the herd also meant death up until modern society with big cities and human anonymity.
Humans depend on each other for survival. That's why we form societies and why we have cities. In the Middle Ages, if you were excommunicated, it meant slow death. People could not associate with you in any way, nor feed you, nor help you. Eventually, without social help, you would die. You could not trade or engage in commerce, and as a result, you could not provide for your needs. Eventually, you would perish. That's why excommunication was so greatly feared by everyone.

The stigma against homosexuality until very recent times was quite strong. Anyone accused of homosexuality was ostracized. They were looked upon with shame. Others would not want to associate with them for fear that people would think the same of them. Those that did associate were ridiculed. The social penalty for homosexuality was severe. So the fear of being associated with homosexuality one's self grew. You had the development of "macho behaviors" as a way of demonstrating that one was heterosexual. In some societies, men developed machismo, which is an aggressively manly behavior as a way to say "look at me, I'm a macho heterosexual male who hates homosexuals." There is one problem with that. Humans are by nature omni-sexual beings. This behavior is found among many higher species and most importantly in all primates. A human can be sexually attracted not only to the opposite gender, but to very attractive members of their own gender. This is very natural behavior, but in those who have deep-seated fears of ostracism it can become psychologically destructive. Homophobes are unaware that being attracted occasionally to attractive members of their own gender is something completely normal. It happens to everyone. They will notice their own attraction and fear that they, themselves, have homosexual tendencies. Because they have a strong instinct regarding the fear of rejection or ostracism, this causes psychological trauma and a need to prove to themselves and to others that they are NOT homosexual. This leads them to aggressive behavior against anyone they believe may be homosexual. It mostly leads to vocal attacks as a herd demonstration of their own rejection of homosexuals, but it can also lead to physical violence. But where did this "identification" of homosexuals come from? When did people start fearing being identified with homosexuality one's self? Did it always exist? History and literature tells us clearly NO. It began at a specific point in history and was spread all over the planet. Prior to that, homophobia did not exist anywhere on the planet. It did not exist in China, Japan, or other areas of Asia. It did not exist in India, in the Middle East, in Africa, in Asia Minor, nor in Europe. It did not exist among natives in the Americas and it did not exist in Polynesia. If you read the ancient literature of these geographic areas you will find that homosexual sex was praised along with heterosexual sex. As a matter of fact, the concept "homosexuality" did not exist until the time of Sigmund Freud. All sex was considered natural. Some preferred one kind more than others.

Although homophobia did not develop at this time, the seeds of homophobia were sewn by the Hebrews when they decided to become a nation state and needed to vastly increase their population of Hebrews. Hebrews did not want to mix with other ethnic groups and did not want to grow by assimilation of outside peoples, but to grow the numbers of pure Hebrews. This interbreeding and association with other ethnic groups had serious implications regarding the stability of their religion. They wanted their religion to be pure and their people to be "pure." Where all other cultures readily adsorbed outside groups, Hebrews sought purity and ethnic isolation. This meant that their population had to expand from within, and the only way to accomplish this was by breeding restrictions. Any child born out of wedlock had a very poor chance of survival. Only if they had a father who accepted them as a legimate offspring would the father protect, feed, and care for the child. Lineage was vitally important to the passing of property from one generation to another. As a result, the Hebrews passed draconian sex laws that had never existed in any other society prior to them. Only procreative sex within marriage was allowed. All other forms of sex were forbidden and punishable by death - a very harsh penalty for disobeying the law. These doctrines were incorporated into their religious literature. It is far easier to have people police themselves due to religious convictions than to have soldiers standing over people's beds. And thus the Hebrew sex laws were born and sanctified by religious practices. Their religion controlled their lives, and failure to abide by religion could cause people to be ostracized by the community or even stoned to death. Stoning was a very painful and slow way to die.

The following forms of sex were outlawed and punishable by death: Adultery. This was due to the importance of inheritance of property. A man could be verbally rebuked for adultery and even ostracized by the group. But women were stoned to death, a practice that continues in many Islamic countries today. Onanism. Any non-procreative spilling of one's seed. This involves coitus interruptus (early withdrawal), masturbation, oral copulation, or rubbing externally against the body to the point of ejaculation. It also involved any form of birth control. Pederasty. Anal intercourse. Or men lying with men (Oral/anal) non-procreative sex. The only approved form of sex was procreative sex within marriage where there was a high probability of pregnancy and of a child that would grow to adulthood. The Bible has strong admonitions against any other form of sex. The penalties for all were the same.

The Christians, an offshoot of Judaism, adopted the Hebrew Bible as the Old Testament. Homosexuality, men lying with men, was rarely considered in early Christianity and was basically ignored, especially by the Church. Those inclined toward homosexuality often joined the Church and became priests and monks. They were members of the educated class. In the Middle Ages, although all non-procreative sex was officially forbidden, it was basically ignored. Two things happened to change this. Some writers of religious text began expressing strong sentiments against sex. Until property laws changed in the Middle Ages, priests could marry and raise families just as protestant ministers today. When property laws changed, the widows of priests who has started their own churches claimed these churches and the revenues received through them as their inheritance. This was in direct conflict with the Church who claimed the property and the revenue. As a result, the Church issued edicts against marriage by priests and insisted that priests should remain celibate. This caused upheaval and riotous disagreement by the heterosexual priests who were then denied access to sexual release. In Medieval towns, a priest could hardly have sex with a town's woman without everyone knowing about it, and this could lead to expulsion. Priests found themselves in a position of having to remain celibate, and about that, they were very unhappy. At the same time, homosexually inclined priests were cloistered in monasteries away from public eyes, and sex among those priests was abundant. This led to animosity with the heterosexual priests in communities who had to remain celibate. Almost everyone during that time was illiterate except for the upper class and the priests. Priests often wrote on religion and other topics and took their writings to the town centers where they read them to the town's folk who were unable to read themselves. And thus admonitions against men lying with men began to appear in town centers and the people increasingly found themselves admonished regarding this. This is what is called a "thought virus" or meme. Meme is pronounced similar to gene and refers to cultural practices being passed from one generation to another just as genes pass physical attributes between generations. And thus, homophobia was born. Ostracism was greatly feared during Medieval times. Any expulsion from the community meant death. So homophobia as a fear of being associated with homosexuality itself began to spread through all of society. Later as Europeans began to explore the world, they took homophobia with them wherever they went and spread it across the face of the globe. Even those who did not adopt their religion adopted this meme and for the first time, peoples who had no prior rejection of homosexual sex began to reject it and fear it.

At a time when homophobia has begun to die in the Western world, fundamentalist churches have adopted an anti-homosexual stance for political and economic reasons. Having a focus of hatred toward an outside minority provides the fundamentalist church with an attraction by those who seek to belong by sharing a hatred. It is a natural human behavior. The anti-homosexual stance has increased the membership of fundamentalist churches. Humans have an instinct to reject those who are different from them or the group (herd.) This causes a bond between those who share a hatred. It also has become big business for these churches bringing in billions in revenue for anti-homosexual projects. This is revenue that the churches would not otherwise have and it is a lucrative business that they show no inclination to turn away. Although one is aware that for every homosexual fornication in our society there are more than ten or twenty times more heterosexual fornications but, yet, these are never mentioned. Nor is birth control attacked. A very large population of couples live together witout getting married. Nor is divorce and remarriage attacked even though the Bible says that this is adultery. That would be attacking their own membership and would drive both people and revenue away. They want to attract people and revenue and thus their program of hatred of homosexuals, a minority, has become a cash cow for their religious altar.

We rarely take time to sit and analyze why things are the way they are. We just assume that is the way they are supposed to be. However, all human behaviors have a history. We simply have to look hard enough to find it.

For anyone who did not know this information before, I hope this has been informative and useful. It opens up new avenues of thought and gives us a new opportunity to improve our knowledge base. Sex is an important feature of human life, and the better we understand our sexuality, the better life we can have as human beings.


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